Recently I posted on my personal Facebook page a desire to fly in one of those rocket wingsuits before I die. I got some very funny responses along the lines of, “Well, if you do fly in one, your death wish may very well come true!” Hahaha!

The responses did get me thinking: I learned from Mary Roach’s book “Stiff” that Dungeness crabs enjoy eating people as much as people enjoy eating them. A mess of crabs can turn a dead body into crab poop in a matter of hours. So imagine this: Zip, Bang, Plop, Poop. I’ll explain.

Zip: I am a terminally ill person whose last wish is to fly in a rocket suit. My wish comes true, and I am zipping through the air as free as a bird.

Bang: I inentionally slam into a rock cliff at over 100 mph and am instantly dead. No pain, no suffering. The only mark on the cliff is one of my happy, smiling face. smile emoticon

Plop: My dead body drops into a pool of hungry Dungeness crabs hanging out below the cliff. Plop!

Poop: You know the rest.

Sometimes I refer to this as the Sonny Bono way to go. One minute you’re skiing, and the next minute you are playing a harp. Nice. Crazy, you say? Hey…I’d rather go that way than surrounded by a bunch of machines in a hospital room.

A Death Wish

I had to go hunting for it, but many years ago, long before I started the podcast and my apparent fascination with death, dying and the afterlife, I penned the lyrics found below. Perhaps someday I’l get around to setting them to music. Until then…enjoy “Harley Fire”

Lord when I go
it’s my desire
to go out smiling
in a ball of fire
I intend to take it down
right down to the wire
and then die laughing
in a blaze of Harley fire

 

Some settle for the doctor
and the doctor said
son when your time comes
you better be in bed
but I can promise you this
that bed is not for me
I intend on dying
the way I lived. Free

 

Some go high
and some go low
some go fast
and some go slow
but when I die
I pray to the Lawd
I’ll be crankin’ on the throttle
of a Harley Vee Rod

 

The chrome is nice
and the leather’s sweet
the paint is trick
by my mustang seat
I’m ready to go
and be a flower
When I push the red line
of V-twin Harley power

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